How to take the perfect nude😈

Have you ever taken a selfie?
A.If answer was no: get help and stop reading

B.If answer was yes: continue reading

(You’re already 50% there!)

Now a nude is honestly the same thing as a selfie. However instead of taking a picture of your face, you’re taking a picture of your penis (or vagina). Did I mention you have to be naked? Yeah you have to be naked.

So now you’re in a situation where you have to take a nude, and for some odd reason you don’t know how too. Don’t worry relax! Take a chill pill or take a nap, I have a solution for your problem!

Here are my top FIVE tips on taking the perfect nudes selfie for your potential fuck buddy:

1. Lighting lighting lighting! – any picture needs a lot of lighting, everything looks way better when it’s not all dark and gross. So use flash, take them near a light, use your Lumee cases, do what you need! No dark nudes, can’t be turned on by something you can’t see.

2. Background! – make suuuuuuure there’s nothing gross in the background! Throw that dirty sock your laying on in your hamper, or cover up that stain on your sheets. There’s nothing that turns me off more than seeing gross shit in the background of a nude. So be aware and make sure YOU ARE THE FOCUS.

3. Angles are everything – angles are everything when taking a selfie, the same rules apply when taking a nude. Arch your back a little bit, make your body look good, make it look like something they’d want. Don’t get all crazy and pose like you’re trying out for Americas Next Top Model, but be sexy and show yourself off!

4. Sometimes less is better – yes sending a nude means you’re literally nude. However sometimes a picture in underwear is just a sexy as a dick picture. You don’t always have to show skin, but who are we kidding, it is a nude.

5. Don’t show your face!!!!!! – YES! So you trust this person and you’re ready to send them a nude. Now what happens if you send a nude (face included) and a couple weeks later you have a falling out. Those nudes are now in their hands to do what they’d like. Not everyone’s a horrible person, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. So keep your face out of the picture! Save yourself the trouble. I mean let’s get real, they don’t really wanna see your face 🍆

There you go! Have fun sending nudes and bringing all the boys or girls to the yard.

Thanks boos 😘

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